The First Baguette

While waiting for the final healing to happen I have embarked upon a great project. An attempt to find and create the perfect French baguette. So far I have tried one recipe, yesterday from this website. http://www.famousfrenchdesserts.com/french-bread-baguette-recipes.html The bread was delicious, but not baguette. It was to chewy a real baguette is supposed to be crispy on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside. This is achieved by keeping a bowl of water in the oven to moisturize the air, and baking at a very high temperature. Today I will try recipe two. I have to find it first. If you have any recipes, then please tell me. Thank you!

A General Update

Yes I am very creative. (In reference to the title)
Anyhow, got some fun things to report on. First I went to swamiji's morning satsang live for the first time in a long time. It was nice, but I got super antsy and honestly just felt normal, not special or anything. So that was that, then today I went driving for the first time in ages. I was pretty tense and didn't totally relax, but it was pretty nice. A gorgeous sunset and we saw a herd or over 15 deer in a corn field. The younger ones bounding about in fun. I am starting to get a feel for this driving thing, I was going around curves, stopping, and turning a lot easier.

Elephant Nose

Today I went to see my surgeon/ Frodo the hobbit as I will admit I know think of him. He really does look like Frodo. He said my nose is almost all healed except for one spot, which should be healed in about a week. At that point I can start going back to the barn. Unfortunately I did get to hear the intricate details of the surgery coming up, he talked about it like it is happening, so I guess it is, but we'll see. If you can imagine where your smile line is and then above your upper lip to the right, he will cut out a flap of skin there, flip it up and sew it on. We will wait ten for about three weeks till the new blood vessels catch and then do the final remodeling.
I asked him what exactly it will look like. Now maybe for some people that is trivial and silly to be thinking about something that I will only have to endure for three weeks when in the long run I will be fine, but you have to understand I am a 16 year high school girl! I do care about how my face looks for three straight weeks. Oh what he said, right. He basically said I will resemble an elephant. Who wants to be told they will resemble an elephant! I mean sure in their own way they are beautiful creatures. I both respect ad love them very much, but I'd rather not look like one. Also the process just sounds awkward. If they do a surgery, the stitches and whatever heal under a bandage it would be all fine, but....
I hope I am making sense here. In short I have felt a bit down all day, just thinking about this. So yes that's my update more soon. Next D-town broadcast is tomorrow, so that's good, I guess.

Photo Credits: ifunny. I don't own this photo, but I thought it was just two perfect.

A quick update

By stating it in the headline I am going to try to make this quick, but living with myself for 16 years I know that is virtually impossible (to make anything quick). Today I went to school without my bandage! I was so happy. It was like that feeling you get in spring that first time you can comfortably go outside without a coat feeling the warm breeze on your skin (and now you know the major thing in my thoughts) not having the big white thing on my nose, and in fact people stared less. Really from straight on and above (I'm short only 5' 1 3/4") below it's still not pretty and I still have to slather on neosporm (I have no idea how to actually spell that) and this other Burt's Bees cream (res-Q ointment) that has a bunch of natural herbs and a really strong smell (especially if your sticking it up your nose like I am.) These creams make my nose all slimy looking was the main reason I was still wearing the bandage, but today I just didn't care I wanted it off!
It went pretty well except for one point in history were I succumbed to my old habit of leaning my face in my hands therefor accidentally pressing my nose into my palm. Not a fun feeling. You honestly don't know how much you touch your nose (I know that sounds weird, but it's true) until something like this happens.
One more quick thing about the nose I have been getting daily "spiritual healing from the temple." I'd rather not explain what that is now, remind me and I'll do it in another entry, but lets suffice to saying its a lot like raiki if you know what that is. Actually I don't, but that's what mum says and she does know. Anyhow what I wanted to say about it is that it is the one time of the day I truly feel peaceful. Lately I have been so edgy, after so much time off getting back to school is really hard, and then exams themselves. usually I sleep well, but lately I have been having weird and horrible dreams every night the most vivid being me riding with some others at Equi-Valent and a large black horse named Fred (who does not exist in real life) snapping his leg while cantering around a turn. When someone does the healing to me though, always in the temple in front of Swamiji's picture I still have thoughts but this deep sense of calm settles over me that lasts for a long time.
As I predicted this was not short, but I got everything out! Check in for more later, I might have a very interesting story to tell sometime in the next few days.

photo credits: me. Nothing to do with anything, I just like the picture taken is "Hogsmeed" in Harry Potter World

Self Bandage

You know when I don't have school when I write three entries in one day. Or is it two? Thanks to having exams this week and the end of semester I didn't have school on this snowy January day. It snowed all yesterday evening giving us about two inches and we are supposed to have a snow storm tonight, so that's fun. A change of scenery when I look out the window. My day off has consisted of a) doing my hair in a very cool way that took me 20 minutes, shown above and second my friend Kismet came over and we baked pretzels which were very delicious.
In other news as you may have seen I finally figured out how to put a counter on my blog!! Now I can see how many people actually read this thing, it makes me so excited. What I really wanted to write about today is a started bandaging my own nose. You are probably like, what you weren't doing this already, but if you remember I just wrote about the fact I finally looked at it two days ago. Well last night mum went to sleep and I really needed my bandage redone, but I didn't want to wake her up and thought honestly how hard can it be? Well I sat done and did the whole thing, applied the cream put it on the gauze and tapped it onto my face. I was so proud of myself! So as this is the place I am documenting all that happens to me concerning my nose (currently minus pictures) I felt like writing it. That's all! Check back in soon, I have no idea what this weekend will bring.

Math Exam

This past week was exam week. It's funny, they do exams to make sure you have learned everything you should have learned, but if your like me you learn the stuff the forget it. With history and journalism I remember pretty much everything, but math and biology there is no chance! So the week before is basically me holed up in my room attempting to cram four months worth of daily information into my brain. It didn't help that I was still recovering from a certain medical problem either, but all thing's considered I think I did pretty well. Journalism, history, band, biology, and video production at least not so sure about math though.
Math is actually what I wanted to briefly write about. So we get this study packet and it's like 10 pages or something with problems from every section we worked on. Unfortunately I missed when the class was working on the first half of the packet and so by the time I came back to school I felt totally lost. Well spent most of the weekend silently freaking out (and sometime openly) it was like I was walking toward an impending doom and I couldn't do anything to save myself. I went to my friend Kismet's house and she helped me a bit, but there was just so much more of the packet. The night before the test I was up till about 2:00 fervently doing math problems. Then the next day at 7:30 am I sat in my class room and waited. The test was passed out, and as I looked upon the pages and pages of numbers I had a feeling of calm float over me, I could do this. I started methodically doing problem after problem there where only two so far I hadn't been able to do. At 30 problems I glanced up at the clock I only had half an hour to go! In one hour and 30 minutes I had only completed 30 problems. I had 50 to go. I randomly bubbled in the 50 answers and then in my remaining 20 minutes tried to do as many problems as I could re-writing my random bubble-ins all of which were wrong. It was a horrible feeling, I could have done those problems but each one took me about 1-2 minutes and I only had between 20-30 seconds. Maybe less.
So let me write here, that I protest the American math exam system. Seriously people! Either give us more time or less problems, this exam was not a test of my math ability it was a test of how fast I could put answers in, which was not something I was prepared for.

Scar Face????

I visited the Surgeon to more. Nothings wrong I just have to have weekly visits with him so my progress can be checked up upon and that week's care instructions can be administered. Doctor (who kind of, a lot, resembles Frodo from the lord of the rings, Curly dark hair, blue eyes, shortish, and slightly plump) said that it's not healed all the way yet, but looking better then expected. (Thanks everyone who has been praying and thinking etc. about me, I know it helps on some deep divine level.) He gave me the run down. Before it seemed all these futures whatevers where far away I had a few weeks to just go around with or without a bandage. But because of the fast rate I am healing things to a 90 degree turn from the doctors original words now a little over a week ago. First step I have two options I can have surgery next Monday and have skin graphs from behind my ears. Then wait for it to heal for about three days. Or wait 7-10 days and it should be almost healed just doing what we are doing in other words giant gobs of neosporm and gauze tapped over my nose virtually 24/7. I am not supposed to go to the barn, clean out my cat's little or guinea pig cage and wash my hands after handling something even slightly unsanitary. Like Rico. I can't run, jump on the trampoline, ski etc.... although as we have only about an inch of snow I don't see how I would anyhow, but... yeah. So stay quiet and inactive. At least I have my laptop, life if then secure.
Here's were it gets tricky though. After it heals I have to make a second decision. One the one hand I could leave my nose as it is a gaping nostril on one side exposing more of the inside of my nose then normally possible. On the other hand I could have surgery were they take a skin flap from my cheek next to my nose flip it over and have it modeled to my nose. I am assured it will never look exactly the same ad cheek tissue is not nose tissue, but it will be close. Additionally there will be a scar running down the right side of my face close to my nose. So big choice huh? What do you guys think? Scar face or gaping nostril. I am leaning toward scar face but please comment your opinion.
Lastly. Someone from our temple wrote to Swamiji asking why so many "bad" things have been having to the NVT volunteers. One left, one got cancer, one had to have back surgery, one's dad died, and then me with my nose. I don't know what the response was for the rest of that but he said to tell me that he had a horse accident as well and sometimes these just happen. So that made me feel all warm inside, I have something in common with SWAMIJI!!! (he had a compound fracture to his arm and had to have surgery on it, although that was a slightly different scenario cause he fell off the horse, but still.
OK please comment! Thanks.

A First Look

Two days ago I looked at my nose for the first time. "You've never looked at your nose before??" No. I mean without the bandage. Thankfully I did faint or scream or anything, not that I usually do. OK sometimes I shriek when people scare me. I was very calm though and took it all in. So here's the deal the little piece of a nose I am going to call it a nostril flap for all intensive purposes. Yes well it's gone to pieces of skin were sewn over to cover the cartilage and there are two distinctive stitches. So yep! That's it!

uhg

Day two of walking around the Rudolf the White Nosed Reindeer. Ugh seemed to be my word of the day. It was horrific, but it definitely wasn't my day of days. I had the first part of my Spanish exam, and guess who spent all of Thursday afternoon sleeping and forgot to study. Yep that would be me. So that was lovely. We did a lot of review in school today, and besides math which is honestly just going to take a miracle, I am starting to feel a lot better about my exams then I did two days ago.
In other news I just wanted to write about this as everyone I talk to seems to keep mentioning it. So all these people keep telling me how amazed they are that I was writing blog entries and facebooking every single step of my "ordeal'. (If only they knew on top of that I was video chatting Paz and texting Becky, the WHOLE time, except when I was asleep of course.) anyhow what I can't understand is how they can't understand. Hello? I was laying in a bed board! What was I supposed to do? Sleep? Yuck. When I am board, stressed, angry, happy, or sad, I write. The end. Now it has been decided that also when I am in pain I write. OK so we cleared that up.
Also the matter of another thing my "up-beatness" people cannot seem to understand why I am so up-beat. Supposedly when some of your nose gets bitten off by a large animal and you have to have surgery you are supposed to be depressed . But doesn't that just make it worse? I am not at all saying that I have been a total angel. I am sure there where times over the past week when my family just wanted to throw me out a window. (thank you dearest family from refraining.) For example today when my mother in a rush applied more cream to my nose and it hurt a lot, but I refused to take Tylenol and instead sat and groaned for 10 straight minutes, just for the fun of it. Yes I am weird.
OK this was a totally pointless entry. I hope you enjoyed the two pictures at the beginning. I just took them now of Maya who is laying next to me and doing a very good job of keeping my legs warm. Tomorrow will be an actually interesting day, so make sure to check back in.... bye!

"so how does your nose feel?"

This is the question I was asked by at least 100 people today at school. At first I found it entertaining to just blatantly tell people "a horse bit off my right nostril" but after about the hundredth time (not even kidding. There are about 1400 people in my school.) it started to get really irritating to answer the same questions over and over again. And over and over give the same answer. Then have those people attempt to look up my nose... yeah long day. Finally I got home from school after a horrific bus ride in which there where no available seats, and my dear sister would not share. I immediately climbed into bed with my ipod and laptop with a heater set on 80 degrees plugged across the room and slowly unfroze mentally and physically from the day. Shortly after completing one of very very many homework assignments I feel asleep. My mum at last had to wake me up to take my medicine and fix my bandage. The funny part of that was my pet guinea pig Rico was throwing a fit in his cage squeaking as loud as he could. Mum had given him all the food and water he would eat and drink and didn't know what to do. Finally she opened up the door and he actually let her take him out of the cage which is very rare for him, since normally he likes a good game of tag. Well she sets him beside me and he immediately runs over and snuggles in next to my chest. It was so cute. Then mum started the whole process of cleaning and bandaging my nose (I'll post a picture eventually) and he followed her every movement running back and fourth across the sheets and then back to me along with each item. He even tried to help a bit, in his own way promptly chewing a hole in the tube of cream (he'll be fine.) and he kept holding up the que-tips in his mouth for mum, it was like something out of a movie and really cute. I'll get a picture tomorrow. For now I am heading back to the wonderful world of sleep and cozy blankets. More tomorrow!
Picture Credits: Kismet taken last summer in my backyard. This is Rico, for those of you who haven't guessed.

Cream, Bandages, and Mashed Potatoes.

Hey everyone!
So this is going to be short, but just wanted to check in. It really hurts to type with my left hand (IV) and too hard to only type with one. I am doing alright, to scared to look at my nose so far, but I hear the new skin in taking well. Paz, my best friend is having the time of her life. Where I would assume most of my friends would be like ewwww to see my bloody nose Paz just stared and was really impressed. She'll make a great surgeon. She was there when they changed the bandage yesterday.
In any case basically the first surgery was a patch up, I will have to have 2-3 more to fix the nose, and then more to shape it.

(as you can see above I am posting this today, but I actually wrote it yesterday and forgot to post it.)

Taking a Deep Breath and Letting Go. Level Two

Remember how I wrote about letting go of my fear about the roller coasters? Well I have taken that situation to whole new level. Yesterday evening I went to the barn as usual to ride April. As usual I walked around the barn giving a hello to each horse. That day there where only two horses in the barn Nathan and Star's horses Percy and Spirit. well I walk up to Percy to say hello as I always do and reached out a hand gently blowing as you are supposed to do when greeting horses. But instead of blowing back she reached out and bit me really hard on the nose. I touch my nose and realized blood was spurting out and and ran for the bathroom dripping blood everywhere at first I just thought Oh bloody nose! But then I washed it a bit and realized a whole chunk part of a nostril was missing. So naturally I kinda freak out (although stay relatively calm compared to some) although maybe I was in slight shock. I walk to the arena where Jessenia is teaching a lesson
"Uh Jessenia can you come here" when she saw my nose she went totally pale then quickly directed to senior volunteers one to take over the lesson the other to hold the extra horses and went to get Nathan and Star I was practically in tears, it hurt, and I mean my nose!!!! A whole chunk was gone. Those minutes seemed so long. I waited while Ivy (The one senior volunteer) just looked at me piteously. So Nathan and Star came and helped me into the kitchen where I sat down and they looked at my nose. Star talking to me gently and Nathan trying to contact my parents, and Jessenia got some gauze and stuff. Long story short and I am having to spend two days and two nights (Monday through Wednesday)here so far and we will see any future developments.
Anyhow I am having to live through my worst fear right now. Swamiji says face your fear and so I guess I had to do it sometime! I was literally shaking in fear of the thought of surgery. And all most in tears. I wasn't allowed to wear my mala, but I held in moving the beads through out my fingers, and chanting mantras under my breath. When I got to the operating room I was embarrassed because my night gown didn't fit. right, but then with just the doctors I got instantly calm, I didn't take a jug or anything. I refused all extra drugs, but the most very basic. As in I have had one tylanol for this whole time. Although I am starting to feel the pain.
To make an even longer story short, I am still a bit scared about my future surgeries, they have to do some skin graphs and I am scared about that, but getting through this. please comment!

familier? Yes. Boring and Old? No.

It always feels like when I reenter the temple I have been gone for a long time. When I am gone for a whole week entering the temple seems like such a divine experience. My title says it all. No matter how many times I reenter, it never gets old or boring, sure it's familiar, but every time is such a special experience. Alright you are probably sitting there wondering what I am rambling about. As today is a Wednesday and I only got back from Florida yesterday today I went to the temple for the first time since I went to Florida. Got there late and rushed quickly set up the pooja while the Pooja Acharya (kinda like a priest, but not really) got dinner ready. So got everything ready then sat down and started chanting along with the Acharya "Sada Shiva Samarumbum Shankara Charya...." And It was just so beautiful the deities in their finery the ancient words I just and so amazed at this beauty I get to be part of! So wanted to write about it.
By the way the reason I have been writing a lot more blog entries lately is because I just got a new computer. A refurbished macbook. It can actually go without being plugged in, has a wonderful keyboard, and is oh so fast. I haven't decided on a name yet, but I am thinking of Nico Junior. (My last laptop was named Nico and I loved that computer) OK I'm crazy I know. So, that is this reason for this sudden increase in blogging. Hope your reading, make sure to comment, and check back in soon!

Photo credits: I, again. Sorry don't have any temple pictures on here, so we shall work our way through all my Florida pictures.

Taking a Breath and Letting Go

Dear Readers,
Here is my more serious entry. I have wanted to write it, but then another opportunity arises, so I wait, but it is finally time. Lately I have just decided to let go of old grudges, and clutches and let go. It started with my hair. For years I have kept it basically the same, scared to change it, but at the hair dresser's for a trim, I decided to just take a jump and get bangs. I don't mean side bangs or anything, total across bangs, and guess what? they look pretty good! (If I do say so myself) then I without seriously thinking I took a jump and started the application for a prestigious school (no details now, later) later I freaked out about this, but I decided to take a jump and see the outcome. At the amusement parks in Florida I decided to let a friend of mine take me on a roller coaster. Not a kiddie coaster, a real one. something I have always been too scared to do, but I did it and after the fourth one (the first two my eyes where closed shut the third, I spent the whole time convincing my =self I wouldn't die, then by the fourth I relaxed, and .... liked it!
So my New Year's resolution this year? Just say Yes. like Yes Man (Jim Carrie movie) I just decided to give it a try and see what happens. So far the outcomes of jumping has seemed pretty good. Anyhow tomorrow is the first school day after a long and very busy break, so I will be going for now, but make sure to comment, and I will work on writing!

Pictures Credits: me. Driving along the gulf of Mexico, my friends' reflections in the bus windows.

Florida pictures

Florida

First off Happy New Year everyone! And happy 2012! The fated year, or some say. I have spent the past lovely 4 days in Florida, part of the time in Orlando, and the rest in Tampa. I went with the band (marching band) we took two charter buses down there (20 hours!) The first day we spent at Universal studios. The second part of the day in rehearsal, part at a mall, part in a parade, and part at an amusement park. Day following that was so nice went to the beach in the morning, and then a boardwalk in the evening. The last day was the main purpose of the trip as we participated with about 19 other high schools and a national dance team in performing the half time show of the outback bowl. (Michigan State V.S. Georgia).
In all it was a tiring, yet wonderful last few days with my many band friends. I just wanted to do this quick update. The best part of the trip was by far the beach where I built a sand music note, and treble clef in the sand, went swimming in the cold Mexican Gulf, and walked along the shore looking for sea shells. Harry Potter world was a close second (butter beer is delicious and Harry's Journey ride, is definitely worth the wait)
enjoy the pictures and make sure to read my next entry which is the actually important one.