Christmas

      After a small hiatus, I am finally back to writing. I just wasn't in the mood for a while there, but now I am back! And better then ever. Today is Christmas day, I sit curled on my couch-bed in my room (OK so technically I'm slumped on it, but curled sounded better) my belly filled with chocolate, potatoes, and coffee, I am content. The holiday so far was wonderful, albeit a bad strain of the stomach flu, family tensions, and the usual holiday stress. I got many wonderful gifts from my family and friends, although the two I am most excited about I have not actually received. One is stuck in the mail, the other, a lens is too small for my camera, and has to be replaced. To name a few sweet gifts, stationary, an oven mitt, a book on film, some shoes, a night dress, and a subscription to the magazine tea time. I am not yet sure for my plans for the rest of the day, although I know they include cooking. (I'm going to try my luck at roasting chestnuts). I don't really have anything to say, I just wanted to check in, I'll write something less shallow in a little while. Perhaps a day, we shall see. Check back in soon!

finally this is my Christmas Gift to the world, with the help of the wonderful Michelle http://youtu.be/2HM4YBeTgSY

Obviously Busy...

This picture is a clue for later!

     Hello Readers! So, I'm back in school after thanksgiving break. I can't honestly say I feel rested, or relaxed, to be honest I just feel like the stress continuous to build and pile up. More on this later, for now please enjoy quick snippets of IA tales. As you can tell I was quite busy, and although I never finished, please make note of the Seattle Girls comment. Will come up later.  

 

Wednesday December 3, 2009 5:45 am

    Second day of Inner Awakening! Only 19 days left to go. Yesterday we started on Life Bliss Program level 1. Not much happened in the actual program, but... well we moved to Raja Sabha to accommodate all the people. It had only been (mostly) constructed that morning, by mostly I mean there were no tiles yet on the floor, the bathrooms were not completed, and well, when they opened the curtains to reveal Swamiji in a golden throne, only one spread. So finally Swamiji just walked out and sat in front of us on a footstool. Then as he sat there one of the fans above his head, whirling around caught the decorations in it hanging from the ceiling. (By the way, all the while this was happening Swamiji is giving a very funny commentary which I have not had the time to record.) OK I'll say this, after that incident Swamiji looks up and says "So many things above my head, I pray it does not fall down, I hope!" 

Thursday December 4, 2009 9:40 am

    Third day of IA! OK right now let me get all my annoyence out on paper and be rid of it! There are five girls from Seattle who [...]

Late Morning

    We started out second program NSP, the point: to get rid of engrams. So far we have spent the morning listening to Swamiji talk about death. Now we are [...]

Thanks Giving and Friends.

Happy be later thanksgiving my dearest readers! As usual I along with my close family am staying with my relit gee in Michigan for the thanksgiving holiday. Although thanksgiving in Michigan was same old, see family, bake pie, eat, watch TV, this year a thanksgiving event occurred that changed my perspective of the holiday. Of course I love the overall concept of giving thanks and a day to do it, but within my family it's not exactly a holiday I look forward to. This year though my lunch table at school all agreed to celebrate together in a small way the last day before school. At the lunches prior to it we planned a balanced menu, decreed who would contribute what, including table cloths and plates. It was the kinda thing I get super excited about as a rule and throw myself into, while the others roll their eyes at my over enthusiasm at the matter. I knew a majority of the people at my table decently well, but was both surprised and pleased at their enthusiasm for our upcoming event as well. When the Tuesday finally came I was exhausted from multiple previous events, and simply woke up pulled on one of my not best dresses, slipped the cheesecake I had stayed up till midnight baking into a basket and went to school. When I got there I was still tired and felt non-chalet about the whole thing but immediately my lunch table friends outside and in of first period got me excited again. They were so hyped, so of course I got hyped as well. Every class was one of excitement people peering into my secretive basket, wondering about the contents. Then finally lunch came. I leaped up from my seat in English and rushed to the lunch room a couple other people were already there and with there help and started to organize and decorate the table. More people arrived with excited squeals and comments as they saw the beautiful table. Upon white and maroon cloths lay piled more dishes then even our bunch of hungry teens could eat. Finally everyone arrived pictures where taken, exclamations exchanged.
Sitting there with my school friends passing plastic containing of stuffing, and mashed potatoes around the table. Having people from other tables stand up and walk over jaws dropped at what we had created. And we say, and talked, and ate, reveling in out creation and friendship. I think out of every thanksgiving meal I have ever been to, or participated in that was the most special. Coming together with a group I choose to be with, throwing my heart and soul into it instead of just riding along in the backseat of the car to get there. That is what thanksgiving is supposed to be about. I know this is late, but on this thanksgiving I want to give thanks for friends. Those at my lunch table, and those I have all around the world. You all mean so much to me. Thank you.

In which we come home, move, and IA starts

Life continues to ebb and flow after my last post, which was ages ago! School seemed to suddenly get intense, and the past week I had an attack of girl hormones. If any of my friends are currently reading this, I appreciate the fact your still my friends, I hope. :) in anycase, I'm back and... with a new entry.

Sunday November 30, 2009 7:30 am

    We are driving on a nicely paved road, and along it are many monkeys jumping in thr trees, eating fruits, and grooming each other, and just exploring and hunting for more food. OK, last night when we opened our eyes after an intense meditation we gazed upon, what else do you call him? God. Swamiji was seated on a golden chair with maroon cushions, his hair down and flowing. He was dressed in a beautiful outfit that was an off white color and a garland of lotus flowers around his neck. 

nine-ish am

    Sorry I just stopped writing before I got to the good part. We stopped for breakfast, I had a nice crispy dosa. Alright so Swamiji, dressed like a prince, seated in his chair made of gold. Behind him from one side of the stage to another stretched a black cloth and it was painted with stars and some intricate blue clouds. Then there were sculpted out of foam and painted, some planets. Right above Swamiji was the sun, , it shined and flashed when the light hit it. It was one of the most beautiful sites in the world. He simply sat there, palms together, head slightly bowed, 3,000 people in amazement. We just gazed at him. Then as graceful as only a god can be, he lowered his hands, placed them on his knees, raised his hand, opened his eyes and smiled. He then gestured for darshan to start. 15 minutes passed and a fast beat song was turned on, people stood up and started to dance. After a few minutes (dancing as we did) we stacked up most of the chairs in our section, collected the head phones we had become partly attached to and partly despised. (they were used for our English translation process) and placed all our bags in a pile. Then we danced and danced to all sorts of different songs. Maybe after two hours Swamiji stood up, walked down the steps [of the stage] and started to dance. It was great, except there were around 1,000 people that grouped around him and I could not see. Me and Amrita clasped hands so as not to loose one another. First we tried to push our way in, then she picked me up, even though she is smaller so I could see for a few seconds. (he was gorgeous!) The next, I think ten minutes, was was utter chaos for us. At one point he seemed to hear our silent plees to see him because he climbed back on the stage and danced for ten to 15 more minutes. It was even more beautiful then him then him just sitting, there was one point where he totally was dancing Bollywood style. The rest of the night was amazing as well. We got darshan in a privet hall. At about 12:00 am we piled into a building [just a random college building] and slept all over the floor (guys downstairs, girls upstairs). 

    We were supposed to meet at 4:30 am, but no one set an alarm, so at five am Ma came running in the room, not quite screaming, but quietly yelling at us to wake up. We all simply pulled on sine clothes and a few people ran to the bathroom first, and we all piled back onto the bus. 

Monday December 1, 2009 1:30 pm 

    I have quite a lot to tell, and almost no time to write, so I'll make an attempt to make this quick. When we got back yesterday to the ashram it was about 1:00 pm. We all went to our rooms, bathed, washed clothes, etc. Then we went to lunch. There I discovered a handful of IA (Inner Awakening) people were herem but none I knew. [There were a few Ohioans coming.] OK so then they made the announcment that we all needed to have our stuff packed and ready as we were all being moved to a resort. OK I don't feel like writing much (I am in a talkitive mood, not writing). So long story short I was sad to leave the ashram, but it turned out... 

Tuesday December 2, 2009 5:50 am

    OK so where did I leave off yesterday? Oh yes told me I had to leave the ashram at night sleep in a resort. Well I got a little annoyed, but got over it in about ten minutes and then just wjen all my stuff was packed and ready to load on the buses taking going to the resort, they announced a group of people were actually staying in the new half completed dorm. In the dorm there are four rooms (A, B, C, D) A and B are the two woman's dorms and C and D are the men's dorms. Really the dorms are pretty nice, more later. 

1:15 pm

    Well Inner Awakening has started! There are maybe 500 people? I did not get the exact count. We hav moved to the Raja Sabha to his word, all the LBE people are at the very back of the hall. Interestingly there are quite a few "younger" people here. So far I have met a 13 year old who does not really want to be here.

Life Update

Dear Readers,
   So my friend mentioned to me the other day that I haven't written about my current life in a while. Like really written. So I decided to provide. Marching band season is offically over. The band banquet hasn't happened yet, but no more performances, practices, or football games. As a matter of fact right now it is exactly one week since we got our one at states and the season ended. I thought the past week (and the weeks to come) would leave me with endless time to catch up on things, and while I do feel like I have a bit more time, somehow the workload has magically increased, or school has gotten harder. To be honest I think its my mind, I knew I only would have so much time and energy and so I forced myself to work with it, but now I have more time, so I let myself freak out? I don't know if that makes sense. It does, sorta, in my mind. So school, suddenly this huge weight upon my shoulders, now that I don't have band, I should be doing amazing, but to be honest its harder. Moving on, with the end of band my social life is crushed. I don't say that in the typical sense, but when your in band you are always with people your own age. People that you spend so much time with you finish each other's sentences (a feat my friends and I perform often) then suddenly band is over, you barely see those people and you feel so alone in the world. OK well at least I and the people I talk to do. So figuring out that whole thing,

  So here's what's happening now. my family, specifically my sister, pictures above, is hosting a Japanese exchange student for a week. She's in middle school (and has the same birthday as me!) which is why the time period is so short. I'll admit I was dreading her coming, a week of running around shopping and taking pictures, and such hullabaloo, (OMG! it's says that's a word!) but she is super sweet (and adorable!) and on our first day together (today) it's been super fun. We went to the zoo, and the noodles and co for lunch, and ended our day at a shopping spree at the mall where she helped me pick out an adorable blue hat. So that's fun, tomorrow the schedual is a potluck and the Columbus art museum... we'll see what I, and my homework load, can handle. But more updates on her later.
  Well that's all for now! Check in for more India updates! Also I changed my blog setting, so now ANYONE can comment. So no more excuses! Tell me how you like the new layout and background! I 'm willing to change.

The End of Salem

It's been a long week, but it's nearly over. You'd think things would perk up with marching band being over, like having more time after school to do extra things like homework. Instead each day is a drawn out vortex of sadness that the goal I have lived since June is over. Everything comes to an end though, my India trip did, but before it did there were many more stories.

2:50 pm

    God! Looking at my handwriting from this morning on the bus ride you would think I was in second grade! Well when we got to Maha College of Engineering where the program is taking place we had a quick breakfast and then went to the hall. I mean tent. There we had a morning session with Swamjii, then a quick break, then a talk all about the second energy layer of the body (the pranic layer) and did an intense meditation. After the meditation to let our bodies settle back down we were told not to talk for an hour which makes trying to find the resting building [it had mats laid out for people to sleep], and other such things slightly frustrating, but even that in itself is a good practice. Now me, Amrita, and Eduarda, and others, are laying or sitting on colorful cushions placed about the floor. This is normally a lecture room, but for the program is being used as a resting room for the woman. Below it is one for the guys. 

Friday November 28, 2009 7:15 am

    OK, I know my handwriting is terrible, but this might be all the time I have. Driving the hour and a half to the venue. This morning after an ice cold bath I got dressed, braided my hair into one thick plait, applied my kum kum to my Anya chakra (the place directly between my eyebrows), packed my things into my large backpack, then ran (literlly) downstairs and drank a small cup of chai, then hung out for a while, mostly taking pictures, and at one point a small white and tan dog showed up that I played with. Now they [our bus in general] are playing the dance song Vita Lay and many people and clapping and dancing as we rumble through the Indian countryside. Tonight there is supposed to be an all night meditation, and we will end up leaving from the college, so all our bags are packed and jammed into the bus. Because of this it feels like we are leaving Salem now, even though we have two more days of the program. 

8:00 am

    I just remmebered something I would really like to tell about, but I want to tell my friends through email, so I shall flip this paper to the back and write it in a letter format. 

    Some of you might have gone to a large gathering before, but I assume it was a festival, or fair, or concert. So I ask you to imagine: 3,000 people all together in a simple, yet large tent. All of them on their feet, waiting, waiting, waiting, no not for a celebrity, but for an Enlightened master, a guru. A man whose goal for the world is to find bliss, Nirvana, enlightenment, whatever you call it. Suddenly there he is! Dressed in a orange robe he seems to glide across the stage and with a divine smile seats himself in a large white chair. Swamiji, then he picks up a large stack of papers next to him, and sitting erect on his chair, legs crossed [Indian style] starts looking at every single paper. There must be about 800, every paper a question from a devotee. The man controlling the sound system knows this will take a while and turns on is me music, just the background music though because after a few minutes a man starts to sing into the mic. Everyone in the hall has a least heard of him, once a famous singer in India, he devoted his very life to Swamiji, saying from now on the only music coming from his throat will be Nithyananda. Suddenly at least 2000 people are up on their feet dancing. People dance at some concerts I'm sure, but 2000 people dancing out of pure devotion to Swamiji, to god, to spirituality) That is phenomenon. So first song ended, the people who controlled the sound system are actually quite smart, with regular circumstances.  but these were not regular circumstances. He tried to play a slow, quiet song as a signal to get people to sit down, but they just danced slowly. When that song was over and as we stood on the green mats covering the earth, said to Amrita wouldn't it be funny if they put on Enepenlava. It one of the main dance songs in the Nithyananda world. Then to our surprise they put on Thaga thaga thaga, the second most popular, it was madness, it was insane., it was amazing. Everyone was in ecstasy. When the song was over Swamiji got onto the mic and said

     "OK, you guys had your show, now let me have mine." Everyone simply cheered. 

    Alright I mentioned that I am in Salem, when I am currently living in Bangalore. Why? [OK so here I went mental and start blabbing the whole Salem story, obviously forgetting that I already wrote about it. So that's all for this entry.]

11:45 pm

    Swamiji is sitting in his chair, a table in front of him, signing thousands of books. The rest of the people are on the floor below. Some on chairs, some on the floor, sitting,  most are dancing to the popular Tamil song playing. In a few minutes we will all enter into what Swamiji calls an alchemy process, but what most of us all call torture. An all night meditation. Actually as he explains it, it doesn't sound that bad, he will be sitting with us all night so that will help. I really hope they play dynamic music though or I will be ...ZZZZZZZZZ. God! The song playing! A person can barely concentrate!

Salem

Wednesday November 25, 2009 5:45 am

    When I came to Ananda Sabha to do yoga I met a little surprise. The ashramite and bramacharya yoga was already going on. They got them to move though, and now we are going in the hall. [Basically the residents do their yoga in a different hall normally, but they were doing it in ours.]

5:50 am

    Last night I got a stomach upset over the fact I can not go. I still have it this morning, but I have a few techniques to get rid of it, so I will now proceed to try some of them. 

9:03 am

   Well Swamiji/ spontaneity.  Now it looks as if we are going to go to Salem. Bhakta Swami said tell him AFTER lunch, so we will see. Also he told me to make Swamiji a hat, or ear muffs. I think I will. Now we are back in (you guessed it!) Ananda Sabha. 

3:30 pm

    Well I went to the Banyan tree for a while and now I feel great. We are supposed to start our next session, but Ma Maneesha is simply chatin' away. Swamiji left for Salem already, OK I'll write later. 

Thursday November 26, 2009 Late Morning

    We left the Ashram at 8:00 this morning. About half the group went and we piled our luggage and ourselves into one luxury bus and one van. I am sitting with Amrita and my bunk-bed partner who's name I still can't remember. [I know that's probably bad, but we never spent anytime at our dorms.] Our row is two from the very back of the bus, so we are getting some of the worst bumps, and rocking. In other words please excuse my terrible handwriting. 

   We have left the state of Karnatika where the Ashram is, and have moved into Tamil Nadu. Oh I just remembered her name, Arpana, that's it. The countryside is beautiful, palm, and other tropical trees cluster along the road and dot the fields. Herds of sheep and goats graze along the roadsides as well as a cow or two. In the distance large hillocks can be seen. Everything around us is thick, lush, and green. On the bus itself all the windows are open (air-conditioning is unheard of, even on luxury buses.) The seats are cushioned and especially built to lean back comfortably and sleep. At the beginning of the ride Amrita took my camera (her's broke) and took many pictures of people on the bus. [after a certain... incident those all got deleted.]

Later

    Earlier we stopped at a shop that had relatively clean toilets (for India) and sold food and drinks. Pretty much just snack foods though. OK the thing is that India, on a regular basis, does not use toilet paper, they just keep a bucket of water with a scoop next to the toilet. The other thing is there are many people from the US and Canada who have never experienced this, so lets of toilet paper was brought and when we reached the shop was passed out to us. Also we went into the store and got snacks and drinks. I got a bottled drink that tastes like 7-up, but not a bubbly and sweet. It tastes more like real lemon. Mom got some cashews dipped in a spicy batter. After getting back on the bus I feel asleep for who knows how long. 

Afternoon

    We reached Salem, and went to a devotee's apartment for lunch and a bathroom stop, and are now getting on the bus for ten more kilometers, which should take half an hour. We kept making jokes in the apartment like how many LBE undergrads can you fit in a apartment. This may not seem funny, but if you had seen the room we squished into, and all the places we perched on and fit under [you would too.] Now we are back on the bus. 

Evening

    Me, along with a couple thousand (that is not an exaggeration) are sitting on thin mats covering the bare earth in a huge (and by that I mean REALLY big)[....]

Friday November 27, 2009 8:00 am

    Last night we finished the day's last session at 11:00 pm, then walked to our privet eating hall (thank you Swamiji!) He came here yesterday, well actually two days ago, to oversee our (us LBE undergrads) personal stuff. We ate a simple meal of idle, sambar, chutney, lemon rice, tomato soup (Indian style), and a delicious sweet. As soon as we finished eating we got on the bus and drove around an hour to get to the college hostel where we were staying. Once there, it was about one in the morning, we were exhausted and simply dragged our bags up two flights of stairs, filed into rooms along the hall, then the trouble started. Some beds had been made, but many of the bunk beds (made from cold hard metal) had nothing on them. Thankfully there were a few thin mattresses and pillows in a corner and so we finally settled down. The power blew out, so the night was hot, but I personally was OK. One funny thing that happened is that a woman named Jenna did not know how to use Indian toilets, and Amrita ended up giving a whole talk about it, although it involved much giggling, covering eyes, and "why am I doing this?!" then Amrita has to give a demonstration on what to do with your sari if you had to wear on. I got a series of pictures of that. OK besides technical stuff, here is some more interesting stuff. OK first my new nickname is Ducky. The reason? Even though my real mom is here Amrita is more suited to take care of me on this trip. I guess I don't really know the reason, I just said that. All I know is that Amrita is not to let me out of her sight, and I have to follow her everywhere, like a little duckling, hence the nickname. OK second point of interest, Ma Maneesha is really taking care of us, taking us to the washroom (toilet), making sure we are eating enough, and that the food is not too spicy, checking we are all comfortable in our rooms etc. So now we are all saying she is our mother, we keep saying things like Ma Mommy! and also "Ma, how does it feel to 110 kids?" This morning after asking this question ma said "I never wanted to have one!" then we said when the IA (Inner Awakening) people come (there program, which is 21 days is starting on Tuesday, I think. We will do it as well.) "Will they be your children too?" Now there are suppoesed to be 350 people coming and Ma's reply was to place her hands in prayer position and utter "God, no!" 

     Last thing. Swamiji is doing the program in his native language of Tamil, obviously most of us don't speak Tamil, so we have special live translation [yes I know, I already wrote this...]. Basically we who can't understand wear headsets that are all attached to a cord which is attached to a microphone, which is used by the person translating. So the thing is we did a special intense meditation in which we die. Like we literally go through the experience of death. Unfortunately all our headsets stopped working halfway through, so we only half died. I feel like I lost the proper feeling NSP is to work through and clean the seven energy layers, and one of the first things is to get over a fear of death.

India Journal on a Tuesday

   In case you checked it's a Monday, but I am running out of names. Maybe I should read the entry before typing it in... or I could name it last... in any case here is an entry written on a Tuesday.

Tuesday 23 November, 2009 5:45 am

    The most amazing thing happened last night at our evening campfire session. OK so it was planned that Swamiji was going to go to Salem for an NSP. OK gotta go, yoga time, 

9:46 am

    OK amazing thing that happened. I guess a few people wrote letters and cried to Swamiji during darshan, because he is leaving tomorrow to do the four and a half day NSP (Nithya Spurana Program) in which you go through the seven koshas of your body. (Swamiji imitated the crying people) so last at the campfire Swamiji decided that he had decided to bring us along! I am really excited! Even though the program is in Tamil, (Swamiji's native language) Swamiji the rest of us who don't speak that ancient language a live translation. Just to say I might have to cut off this script in a second because we are awaiting Swamiji. OK so the thing is many of us are falling, or have already fallen sick. So there is that problem, and there is the problem that the NSP is total Indian. There are no American toilets, no cute little rooms like we have here, and the food is, I don't even know. The people here are going to try and make the best for us, they are going to bring toilet paper, (Indian toilets just use water and your left hand) bottled water for our personal drinking water, and our food. Alright I'll write later. 

12:10 pm

    About 25-30 people have decided not to go on the Salem trip. Ma Maneesha talked my mom out of going, so now a young woman named Amrita is going to be my guardian. We just had our morning tea break, now we are back in the Ananda Sabha. Most are laying around on the floor talking, even though Swamiji said not to. 

Late Afternoon

    I hate writing this because it means I have to realize in again, and I feel like I might start crying. OK so they were asking who was  going on the Salem trip, and my mom raised her hand and said she was. Ma Maneesha looked at her, told her she had been sick and would not be going. 

5:26 pm

    [so back story time!] OK so mother was not going, so mom thought "what about a guardian?" OK stop the flow, I just realized I already wrote that. OK so guardian, yeah, mother told Ma Maneesha, who said Swami Bhaktananda was the coordinator of the trip and we had to check with him. He said no, would not work, too risky. I was pretty much anguished. I almost cried, I sulked, I complained to quite a few people. Then Ma Maneesha got on the mic, (you seriously need it in a hall like Ananda Sabha) and said there were times when you just need to go to the Banyan tree, and this was one of those times. I couldn't agree more. So we went and chanted a mantra, and sat under the tree's glorious crown on the black granite slabs set in the clear space between the main entrance and the main trunk and Dakshinamorthi. It was twilight and very peaceful. Then we did a meditation, which I did not really do. I more speculated on the whole trip thing. Sitting facing Dakshina, who is just like Swamiji in my eyes, I thought back to Swamiji saying "everything is auspicious." Mayhap something will happen that will make staying back absolutely wonderful. After meditating (not!) I took a shot walk around the tree. 

9:09 pm

    We have started our Nithya yoga teachers training. For our intellectual understand we are watching a Swamiji discourse about yoga.

India Journal, Back again

Hey Readers! So after my crazy band blurb, I'm back again, completely sane, and not filled with adrenaline. As hurrican Sandy hits New York tonight, and the US election just one week away, I thought I'd stray from these topics to something a little more foreign, like 14 year old me in India.

Monday 23, November, 2009 5:45 am

    It's the time before yoga. There are a handful of people in Ananda Sabha, the rest are still in their rooms, or at the banyan tree. Almost everyone is laying down on their mats taking a post-waking up nap. Last night the schedule was spontaneously changed.  We were supposed to sit in on one of Swamiji's discourses and he was going to introduce all the heads to us, and then I think we were going to have a campfire session after that at night. When we went back to Ananda Sabha though we were told just to sit. We ended up watching a Swamiji discourse. I am sorry to say, I think I slept through a lot of it. OK so then we watched Kalpataru darshan and then a Bramacharya initiation. So many people got initiated, it was so amazing. Including many people I knew, one of them being my "older brother" Shakti Dharana. I put the older brother in quotations because he is not actually related to me, I just like to think he is. 

9:01 am

    OK so the final thing that happened last night that I forgot to mention, is after the bramacharya initiation, which took a pretty long time. Then some of the men started to dance, then five of us girls started up. Humsa, the main tech guy for LBE, turned on some faster beat music, and soon almost everyone was dancing, it was wonderful. OK I am going to stop now, because Swamiji is supposed to come soon. 

4:54 pm

    I just finished learning my Spanish grammer, during a tea break. I had my usual number of biscuits (cookies) which is basically a lot, and my cup of hot milk straight from the Goshala(cow shelter), with three spoons of sugar added. Now we are sitting in Ananda Sabha awaiting Swamiji's return. 

10:3? pm

    Us LBEs are sitting on straw mats circling a campfire, although (....)

The End

My dearest readers,
I haven't written in forever, and for good reason, but now with a half an hour bus ride stretching for me I at last have time. I am on a bus because The Delaware Hayes Grand Pacer Marching band just completed our last performance of Rising Sun, thereby completing our contest season, at State Finals. If you are a regular reader of this blog you will remember that two years ago the band went to states and two years ago we got a two. But that was two years ago, not now. Not now where we are undeniable. When we are the best marching band our high school has ever seen, the band that broke every school record, an elite band. A grand band. What an I getting at? Well we just performed at states and got a one! It was fantastic, not only was our overall score a one, but every single score we received was a one. Music, visual... Everything. Remember at the beginning of band how I said I felt like I was living in one of those movies about the underdog? Well the movie is coming to a close, and the end is happy. Like any good Hollywood movie.
I'm sorry I don't have much to say. Not many details, I'm still in shock a bit. So sitting on the bus just finished having a laughing fit because the boys on the back of the bus spilled the scones I gave them all over the floor, so I told them to clean it and they spent nearly 15 minutes figuring out how. Finally tried to push it to the front of the bus till they got yelled at. Wow. Just wow. Now off to the band Halloween party where we will party till midnight in our own glory. (I'm going as Artemis, pictures will come soon.) that's all. Good night!

Ashram life continues

Saturday November 21, 2009 5:54 am

     This morning as Swamiji recommend I took a "bath" in the Linga pool. Really it was more of a swim, the water was only about four feet deep, but that was deep enough for me! The water itself was not that bad, but the walk to my room was cold! OK, got to go. 

4:42 pm

    Swamiji is in the ashram today, but he is at a two day weekend meeting, so we are being "ruled" by Ma Maneesha. Actually contrary to everyone's theory the day has been very fun. In the morning we got to discover our pooja kits and it was like Christmas. 

9:05 pm

    Well the DVD (I don't know either) finally worked and we watched about half before sitting down for the evening Kalpataru darshan. Then we had our dinner, and I goofed off for a bit, but now we are all back in the Ananda Sabha for an hour. 

Sunday November 22, 2009 12:14 pm

    This morning when (when I was in) my room, we discovered a surprise that is very typical in India, and one aspect, that I strangely love about this country. We had no electricty, zero, nada. In India this does not just mean lights. That mean no fans, no water, no plugging anything in. Plus no light. And as the whole ashram complex, at least in our area, was out, and the moon was just a sickle, there wasn't even outdoor light. Me and mom (oh little 14 year old me's grammer) each had a dim flashlight, but our other two roommates did not (seriously though, who goes to a third world country without a flashlight?!) Oh shall I mention this is 4:30 am? Well I discovered we still had some water left over from the night before and so the four of us had quick baths using just a few cupfuls each. This and finding our clothes was done with the help of just two flashlights. It might sound like I am complaining, but actually I found it fun. Then we had a two hour yoga session (First I went to the Banyan tree) Then there was breakfast, then we worked with our pooja kits, then visited the real Nandi (that was really fun.) maybe I will explain more about him later. Then a break, then we went to the Banyan tree and Ma Maneesha told us stories. Miracles and such, although she said they were not really miracles. That is where I am now, with all the other LBE participants, we are all under the huge sacred tree. Ma Maneesha said she had to run off on some business and would be back by 1:30 pm. Even though she is not here, that does not mean we are totally free to do whatever. Dakshinamorthi sits on his stone mound pedestal. and carefully observes us. Actually right now I am sitting on a low wall, about 1 1/2 feet high and leaning back against a banyan branch. Everything is so peaceful, a few quietly just sit. A few read books, or take notes, or write in their journals like me. High up in a whole at the front of the tree sit two owls. I don't know what breed, but they are fairly small and look SO cute. Really they have been sitting there watching us the whole time, since we got to this sacred space. 

    Last night as promised we had a campfire session with Swamiji, except he invited many of his ashramites to come as well. Mostly he just told us about Kumba Mela the biggest gathering of people (for a peaceful cause) on planet earth. To celebrate, OK let me start from the beginning. So there is this story called the Churning of the milky Ocean (warning, this is going to take a while)  One part of it, near the end, all the gods and demons are fighting (this is a Hindu story) over a pot of magical nectar. In the process four drops of it gets spilled. These four places came to be four cities. OK next part there is this piece of skull which is kept in a golden pot, or Kumba. This skull belonged to the first enlightened master. Now there is a group of people who carry the Kumba from city to (one of the four I mentioned earlier). It takes them four years to reach each city and when they reach it there is a Kumba Mela. So after Swamiji finished talking there was this silence. Whenever this happens you can count on one of the Bramacharis to turn on music, they turned a beautiful song on, and we all started clapping in rhythm to the music, even Swamiji. Then in the middle of the song he sang with the music until the end of the song. It was divine. So now back to the Banyan. 

    I found a new better spot to sit. There is a place where some branches come around making a hollow, there are a few of these and I have seated myself in one. The thing that is so special about Banyan trees is that they don't grow up. They do, but well, really the just grown down. Branches sprout out of branches then they grow down to bury their roots in the earth. It is very cool. OK I am going to work on other things now, but I will write later! 

Friday November 20

Why, am I not creative in these India titles!? Give me a break, was at school for five hours, starting after 6 pm for the football game and it was coooold! I literlly felt my fingers freezing cell by cell, but hey I lived! AND we had amazing show tonight, you should have heard the crowed! Anyway here is more India!

This picture was actually taken about three months later, in Vrindaven.

Friday November 20, 2009 5:42 am

    Last night we had a campfire session with Swamiji by the Linga pool. (a large pool/pond where a 21 foot Shiva Linga made from 1008 healing herbs is placed on a solid mercury base) As I am younger by bout seven years then everyone else people where asking me to do stuff for them. For example there is one guy (he is very nice and I am quite fond of him.) Named Saina who talked me into asking the bramacharyas to turn on more lively music. then we where sitting in a semi-circle and Swamiji was at the head of us. The woman next to me wanted me to ask Swamiji to tell stories. OK at darshan last night I asked Swamiji if I could publish my journal from last time I came. (To India that is, in 2008).  He said to go ahead and publish, but then at the campfire he called out my name and asked me to send it to Gopika (The woman that pretty much takes care of his needs.)  I was so ecstatic the whole evening, he called out my name! 

    Last night he told us many wonderful things and suggested that in the morning we take a bath in the Linga pool. My mom did this morning, but at the last minute I chickened out. I went to the Banyan tree and temple instead. Oh yesterday we had this meditation session under the Banyan tree that was in one part very nice, but everyone was trying to sit on the mats they had put out for us and it was so squishy! I think I spent more time begging Swamiji (in my mind), the banyan tree, Dakshina, Anandaswara (the god in the temple), anyone. To release us of the pain [I was sitting cross legged smashed between four grown adults.] finally I thought "OK I am just going to have to deal with it" and then Swamiji says into the mic, "Relax, open your eyes." 

9:02 am 

    Us LBE participants are sitting in the Ananda Sabah (which by the way roughly translates to blissful hall) waiting for Swamiji. I spent most of the breakfast period listening to the problems of a nine year old gurukul child. (Gurukul is the school for children who permanently live in the ashram, also a boarding school, I went there the summer of 2008) OK so I have been in India one week exactly and have been in the program for five days. I still have 85 days to go. We have a sort of group joke with Swamiji, the first day he kept saying "In the 50 days I spend with you guys" so now we keep saying "Swamiji the sign said 50 plus days." and now he always says "In the fifty one days I spend with you guys..." or if he is feeling silly "In the 50.5 days I spend with..."

11:57 am

    We just did an intense meditation for two hours straight focusing on upanishads. (Sitting with the master.) I don't know how well I did. I think I fell asleep for most of it. At least I did not get the feeling Swamiji said we would of expanding. Now we are gathering and getting ready for the next session. 

12:07 pm

    Ok I wrote this poem, at some point yesterday and I will copy it down here. 

~The banyan tree, the banyan tree, this divine plant will forever bless me. Beneath the leaves that make a roof my annoying mind can simply go poof. I look first to the sacred cane's mouth (I have now idea...) and then the enlightened Dakshinamorthi, who will forever face south. My forhead comes in contact with a banyan branch and I decide I always want to be there; not in my house or my old boring ranch. Then I turn to go, but I have no sorrow, the banyan's blessings are with me and I no longer feel very low.~

3:02 pm

    OK so that was poem. Had a nice lunch, gotta go. Afternoon yoga session.

4:50 pm

    Just had our afternoon tea. In my case a cup of hot cow's milk [from the cows right here in the ashram] mixed with sugar, and eaten with biscuits. In American English essentially cookies, but not as sweet as American cookies. 

India Journal Continued

I really need to come up with more creative names for my titles... only two more weeks of band left. I'm having super mixed emotions on the matter. On to the past, day one of the program!

November 17, 2009 5:25 am

    Swamiji is here! We will get to have two sessions with him today. He arrived at about two in the morning, so I did not see him yet. Our program officially started yesterday. They, that is "the head of it all, Dheera,"asked us to take a short walk there (the temple). By short walk we were not expecting what we got, and that is the Swamis and Swaminis and Bramacharis and Bramacharanis (basically like monks and nuns) were standing in two lines, hands in prayer position, heads bowed waiting for the 100 of us to pass through the tunnel their bodies made and enter the temple. This we did, then we were all ushered to the banyan tree. There mats had been layed out for us and we sat down facing the deity, the Hindu god Dakshinamorthi under the tree's great canopy of leaves. The Pooja Acharya did arathi to the two phenomenal figures (interrupt for your self what they are....) arathi is a beautiful fire ritual. Then we got blessings from the lord (Dakshina, yes I have nick names for the gods) and went back to the temple. On the way each woman (I don't know what the men did) were greeted ceremoniously by Swamiji's two mothers, his biological mother, and the woman that now takes care of his needs. They each put a mala (think of a Hawaiian lei) around our necks. Then we sat on the temple floor and representatives greeted us. After that we went back to Ananda Sabha, or the hall where the program will have many of the classes. On the way there we had a prosession, we waved orange flags and danced to very bouncy music. We got back (to the hall) and where each given a bag that contained a plastic water bottle, a pencil case with a pencil, pen, eraser (or rubber!), and a pencil sharpener. A notebook and an eye band, the bags where gorgeous in their selves as well. Orange with a gold border. We were also given a yoga mat. (Mine is blue) Next we played some games to get to know one another [We learned from them that woman don't know geography] and then each person stood up and introduced themselves. Then lunch, then a two hour break in which I played with Mukta an Ohioan five year old who is just like a younger sister to me. Then back to the hall, more introductions, now the staff, then dinner, then rules and suggestions, more dancing, then bed. Although first a 1/2 hour stop in the internet cafe for email. 

Wednesday November 18, 2009 5:25 am

    Woke up at 4:15 this morning, courtesy of my mom, who decided that since we now have another room mate [yes, she came in yesterday and is on the bottom bunk of the other bunk bed] that we would need more time. Well we all finished our baths [that's the Indian term, even if it really is a shower] by five in the morning. After that I washed my dirty under garments, reorganized my suitcase and I now have plenty of time to write. (Wow have I changed, if left with 45 spare minutes now, I would sleep.) Our report time in the hall is 5:55 am for an hour yoga session. 

    Yesterday was truly the official start of the program because Swamiji was there. Seated on a large throne made from gold, with plush cushions, up on a stage. He spent a large part of the day with us and it was so intimate. Actually at the beginning of the day he outright said "I am an avatar, an Incarnation" I have never heard him utter these words himself. Also he said that we are the luckiest group because with the last one he was still figuring out how to teach and then next time he will not spend as much time with the LBE people. OK I am going now, for yoga. 

Thursday November 19, 2009 4:46 am

     Yesterday our session with Swamiji was mostly question and answer (Q and A) and some of it was very funny.

12:10 pm

    We are sitting in the hall awaiting Swamiji's return. In the early morning Mom and I went to the temple and Banyan tree, it was very nice. All was dark except for the lights glowing under the tree. Nice yoga session, amd then an informative and pretty funnt Q & A with Swamiji. Then we just had a quick tea break [yep, I'm in a former British Colony). There I met my Akka, or older sister. Really we arn't related, but I feel like she is a sister to me. She just turned 27 on Sunday, the same day as my biological half-brother Jacob.] She is from Australia and speaks with the coolest accent. When I came back to the hall someone asked how I was, and I answered good. Then they told me I was literally glowing. That is how happy I am. Also there is something about last night's energy darshan I can't wait to tell, but Swami is coming now, so later. 

2:55 pm

    So darshan last night. We did one meditation I did not feel I did it that intense, but even so... uhg got to go, yoga time. 

4:20 pm

    OK so when I opened my eyes after the meditation I could see Swamiji, seated in a golden throne, a huge picture of the banyan tree behind him. I could see it up close, vibrant. (This is without wearing the glasses). I wear specs (glasses) so it was really cool, after a few minutes my vision started going back to my normal point of view. OK so when I went up for darshan I had a little note explaining what had happened. Also in my note I asked Swamiji to fix my vision. After initiating me into todays thing [ah... memory] then he placed his hands over my eyes and half pressed, half rubbed, then he said you are healed.

India Journal Continued

I could start writing now, and forever about injustices of the world, or the cold and wind, or simply... why the pressure in High School, but I won't. Instead I give you part ... three? Of my India story.

When I talked about the Banyan Tree, here it is.

November 14, 2009 8:05 am

    So much to tell. Well, last night they told us that because the 24-block across he little dirt road that leads to the infirmary and our 24-block that we will double up people. (Translation from past me speak: we where going to need to double up on rooms). A bunk bed was placed in our room, and I was asked to leave my nice bed by the window and move to the top bunk as I am the smallest. Actually I like clambering up onto it. The one problem, is that it is higher then most bunkbeds, and does not have a railing. 

11:17 am

    I am sitting in the dining hall, all hot and sweaty. I spent my morning like this: first I woke up when Padma, our new room mate came, then I took a bath, Indian style. This was very cold because I could not figure out the hot water heater. I needed to wash my hair as well. OK so Indian style is that you get a big bucket with water and then you have a little plastic pitcher thing and you use it to pour the water on yourself. God, you should have heard me screech when the cold liquid washed over me. So then I walked across the quiet ground between the sleeping quarters and the official buildings. Rocks and sandy dirt crunched under my feet and birds sang to each other. In the distance a rooster crowed. I slipped through the door into the vast space of Ananda Sabha, sat quietly though the rest of morning yoga, did my meditation and then went back to the 24-block. There I climbed on my bunk and then wrote a little, then helped get new people settled. After that I went to a delicious breakfast of papaya, idli, chutney, and porridge (yes, like oatmeal, for us Americans). Spencer, a 24 year old from Canada said a little chant, which stays in my mind. When the woman serving asked Spencer how many scoops of oats he wanted(....)

Sunday November 15, 2009 late night

    I had a very busy and tiring day today. Why? I went shopping in Bangalore city. It was sort of fun, but it was hot, polluting fumes burned my chest, and the five people, with the exception of one, wanted to shop, shop, SHOP! I mean seriously they spent sooooo long in this one store. Anyway I did get some nice stuff though. Two beautiful kurtas (Indian tops), a pair of leggings, a gorgeous purse, and three pairs of pants for my mom. On the way home we stopped at a little stand and got a typical Indian snack, sort of thing. Basically "they" take a fresh cocoanut, the kind from palm trees that are all green, not hairy and brown. Then they take a large knife and hack off part of the top. Next they stick a straw in, and you drink all the "water" inside. In my opinion it was not that good, but it is sooooo good for you. Also in the morning I got one journal (take note this is the first place I start to talk Indian English) from Ananda Galleria, the awesome store over here, at the ashram. Oh yes and I made friends with two girls from Texas who just moved to the Ashram. One is ten, the other is nine. I ate breakfast with Shrea, the nine year old, and dinner with both girls. They are very open and connected to Swamiji, also both are very knowledgeable about the Dhyanapeetum and Swamiji himself. One last thing before I go to bed. OK one: I found yet another Spanish speaker today, from Spain who agreed to help me. Two: Swamiji is coming tomorrow and the program starts!

 

India Journal: The Arrival

Friday November 13, 2009 7:??

      Ouchy, ouchy, ouch! My tailbone hurts soooooooo bad, it is with only extreme agony I am able to sit in my seat. We are 52 minutes from Bangalore, my eyes are still burning, even though I did sleep. A little. Grrrrrrr I just want to be there! They served us lunch and dinner on the plane, but I was not able to consume it. Regina I now see what you mean! {A dear friend of mine, who hates air travel} So this means I have not eaten actual food for 12 hours (I had a twix candy bar before we boarded the plane.) I shall now listen to my iPod now, my personal butt pain solution: DISTRACTION! By the way, the flight was nine hours, and we are passing Goa, although we are still over the ocean. 

6:18 am 

     We arrived at the airport at 4:50 am. We got off the plan and then went through security. As we waited in the line I spotted a little bird, like a sparrow, this bird was sitting atop a divider singing his head off. I felt like it was greeting us. {Let me add here, this proves we where now in India, we are inside an airport, and a big one at that, and there is a bird inside, to which no one pays attention}. Then we went downstairs, mom got some of our money exchanged for Indian rupees, whilst I collected our three large suitcases. Then we went back up, got a taxi, which we ended up sharing with Ben, a man from Kentucky. Now we are driving along the crowed streets of Bangalore, palm trees and everywhere and the air is filled. 

6:40 am

    We stopped for tea at a little stand on the side of the road. Then we were off again, I can't wait to get there!

7:15 am

    We have turned onto the lane that leads to the ashram, along the road small children walk. 

10:50 am 

    Wowie wow! So much to talk about! OK I'll start from the beginning, when we reached the ashram we went to the Welcome Center. 

Afternoon

    Mom lays asleep on her bed, whilst I sit against the wall, feet sticking out over the rim of my bed. A fan blows cool air directly at me, while another, this one mounted our wall moves in a semi-circle. Our room is wonderful. It is like a hotel room, almost. The is a main room in an L shape. Then there is a bathroom and a toilet, by these terms I refer to their British meanings.

Band Depression

So I'll be writing two entries tonight, one about life right now, and the other continuing my India story. Life: wow... I'm sitting here my body aching and tears filling up in my eyes I'd like to be me Ma Ananda Asha, Blissful Hope, but I'm having a hard time conjuring that up.
    It's come to that point in the year, most years it's physical everyone gets sick for weeks, no one can get better cause we are all sick, magically we skipped the worst of that this year, instead we are going through something worse. We are all mentally sick. Maybe not all, but a large majority of us, depressed, irritated nearly all the time. Practices feel like they are getting more intense by the day, but as they do I just feel like spices getting ground by a mortar and pestle. I don't even know how to describe it, it's just like, from my point of view, the group energy is down, and I don't know if you ever have, but it's really hard to be with a bunch of depressed people. And people wise themselves, from a completely personal view, I'm just so annoyed with people, it's not their fault, they just happen to cross my path, I see it happen. I don't feel like I have the energy to be nice to people anymore, and with that I feel like I am down to very few friends in band, maybe that's just me being all depressed. Who knows, in any case, I'll stop writing now and go on to something positive.  

Journal: The Journey Continues

Still haven't found my pictures yet... rather the flash drive they are on... in any case here are more words.

Later

     Still waiting to board, now we are in our terminal, our boarding time is 5:05 pm. Haven't done much since I last wrote. Listened to my iPod, shopped, etc. I talked to my younger sister Saskia and my father, Brian over the phone. OK I am going to do something else now. 

4:15 pm

    OK we are boarding.

5:28 pm

     We are going up, up, up, at an angle coming out over the city, and we are almost over Lake Michigan. I know because we have these awesome TVs infront of you that show you. We are sitting next to this guy from England who talks in the most awesome accent, and told us all about London, he's really nice. I shall watch a movie now, there are so many good choices!

8:00 ish (Chicago Time)

     At the moment we are flying over the Atlantic Ocean, past Newfoundland. We are going through strong winds and the plane is quite rocky making it difficult to write. Right near Newfoundland there is a body of water called the Labrador Sea. I wonder if Labrador dogs came from there. Anyway yeah, high winds. So I really had to go to the toilet (British) so I had to totally brace myself to wash my hands, otherwise I would have fallen. Ok just cause I am still in a writing mood we are at an altitude of 38000 feet, and the outside air temperature is...

Tuesday November 12, 2009 8:54 am (British Time)

    We arrived in London at 6:30 am, an hour and a half later then we were supposed to. I slept a few hours on the plane, although I have to say the experience was not comfortable. When we finally got off the plane we where ushered like sheep into "cues" (British word for lines) and then had to go through about an hour of security checking. I was found by the detector device to be doing something bad.   It turned out though all kt was was the metal pendent U attached to a black cord that I always ware around my neck. Naima and my best friend Rachel also wear similar necklaces, except theirs have their initials, not mine. After that we went to the toilet and I cleaned my toiletry bag. My little hand sanitizer bottle leaked when the pressure from the aircraft built up on it too much. After that we went to the "mall" section of the airport and then headed for a little shop called Pert. There we spent $14.00 and got some pounds in return. (I kept some!) Together we got two crossonts, a banana, and some juice, a mint tea, and hot chocolate. Our flight does not leave till 1:30 pm. So far now we are just waiting around. OK so, I really like accents and I will get totally caught up in them, I find myself thinking and then writing down words in a British accent. Also England is very... two things. One eco friendly. For example in the bathrooms the toilet paper is like facial tissue, you just pull off a sheet. This save paper and therefore trees, as the people seem to be more aware how much toilet paper they are actually using. Two: England is interesting, but I could not stand to live here, it is cold and wet all the time and the guy we flew here with says it rains like everyday! That is way to much indoors for me. Ok Gonna go  listen to my iPod now. 

Later

    After sitting around for a bit with my mother and I went off to a little shop called acsessories. It is well named. I think it is like a British version of Claire's. Mom thinks her new haircut is aweful and so we got some clips in an attempt to make it look better. Ok I now have two rules a person should definetly follow. Number one: Never ever go on a shopping spree in the UK airport. Why? The lira (or whatever we are using) is about double the amount of a dollar, and you will go broke because the stuff sold is awesome. My second rule is never buy a wallet from the UK if you actually want to use it. I bought a pretty teal one, and then decided to see if American currency fit, it did not.

    Ok so I have this "adopted" sister from Australia. We say we are sisters because we are pretty close, and ... I don't know. We just do. She stayed at my house for a week once and even though I was sick with a 106 degree fever she let me hang out with her. One other really cool thing is that she has the exact same birthday as my half brother, Jacob. AND they are the exact same age, well really she was born first in Aussie, and so is a day ahead. Anyway i am crocheting her a orange and maroon cell phone pouch while listening to a book on my iPod. It's very fun and I think I shall now continue, but let me just write this when the plane landed my ears popped and haven't been right since. 

2:15 pm

    We are in the British Airways plane preparing for either a nine hour or eleven hour flight (the guy said both and I don't know which one he meant, the "guy" is mom and I's new seat partner). So yeah, this will be the last flying leg of out Journey. We will be taking a taxi to the ashram from the airport and I will consider that the last leg.

   We are in the air! Just before we got way too high I saw Buckingham Palace in between the clouds. It was very pretty. 

   We glide through the starlight the sky and the lights of the cities and villages sparkle from below. At the moment we are next to the Tigris River between Luewa and Dubai. We have about 3 hours and 45 minutes left until we reach the airport. I am happy to be almost there, but feeling annoyed at the moment. I feel dry, all dry. It hurts to breath, my eyes hurt from keeping them open and my butt hurts from sitting for so long.

India Journal Beginning

Hallo Readers! So been very busy here in Ohio, I could blabber for ever, but instead I have a grand plan. I was going to save it for November, but I can't wait. This November 11, 2012 with be my third year anniversary of going to India. Tonight as I lay in bed thinking about sleep, before giving up, I got India sick. Not actually sick, but like homesick for India. I couldn't find my India pictures anywhere and so I went to my bookshelf and pulled out my largest journal. The one I kept when I was in India, and so starting tonight I have decided to share my Journal with you dear readers, passage by passage, and let you re-experience India with me.

Eve of the Trip 

Tuesday November 10, 2009 10:59 pm

     I am writing this on the eve of what I am confident will turn out to be the three most amazing, important, and wonderful years of my life. In easy to understand words the night before my departure for India! I am going to be there for three months with my mom doing a program called LBE or Life Bliss Engineering. As of now I am still not exactly sure what we will do in the program, but I will find out soon enough. I have my main larger suitcase all packed and ready except for a pair of sandals I will slip in tomorrow morning. Plus a purse and carry on. Packed with as much DECENT entertainment a 14 year old individual American can fit into her largest backpack and sensible handbag. I will tell more about everything tomorrow, but my dear mother is threatening me NOT to go to school tomorrow, and I do want to say "good bye," so I had better behave my dear little self. OK I will definitely write tomorrow, 

         -Ursula Brogan

 Veteran's Day/ Our Departure

Wednesday November 11, 2009 9:00 am

     So I went to school today almost as usual even though I did not bring a backpack or lunch and that felt strange. Before leaving the bus I hugged my bus driver and then walked to the building, joining up with my best friend Naima. Today at school was not going to be a normal one anyway so the hundreds of teenagers walking around hallways and calling out to each other seemed more hyper then usual. Me and Naima went to our lockers, then checked in with gym (first period teacher) then off to the band room where we gathered our instruments and then went off to the gym, where we were having a Veteran's day assembly. The assembaly went well, although it was boring. Ten minutes before it ended I hugged my teachers, friends, and other important people, to me. Then I packed up my flute, wrote Naima a quick good bye note as I did not truly get to say good bye. 

10:40 am

     We are waiting at the gate for out 11:25 flight. It is pretty boring, there is a bar, and a newsstand, and a gift shop, and that's all. So now I am writing, when we said good bye it was a much better ordeal then the last time mom and I went (to India) in the summer of 2008. When we said good bye last time mom and I both burst into tears. But anyway, so I am only going to be writing in the times and dates of the places we are going to be in in the next few hours, when we are in Chicago it will be like we are going back in time. 

11:42 am (Chicago time)

     So after a pretty nice flight we arrived in O'Hare airport.  Flying over Ohio was eerie. I say this because it looked like a patchwork quilt with all the fields, houses, towns, lakes, and ponds, and patches of woods. Now we are sitting in the airport and have to go take a train to the other side of it. 

Sometime

    We made an almost large mistake, actually we made a mistake, just not as bad as it could be. Basically we where in an area with lots of shops, then mom thought we should go to terminal five, the International terminal. So we took a train all the way there. It was there that we found out our next flight didn't leave for five hours. Then we were in trouble, see right before you go into the terminal all there is are McDonald's. a sandwich shop, a bar, an ice cream stand, and two souvenir shops. I know that seems like a lot, but five hours! We got some lunch at the sandwich shop, then mom just sat and talked on her cell to various people while I looked at the two shops. Nothing of interest though.  We still have about four hours to go. Alright I am going to write about something that I am very proud of myself. Ok so for this program I made a goal to pay for my $1,270 plane ticket. Well I called people and asked if they would help me out. Well believe it or not I called 35 people, for about half an hour, and I did not suggest a price.  Well by the end I got exactly $1,207. So I feel like this is truly the right thing to do. Mom tried the same thing but she only got $125.00. One last thing, my shoulders are killing me from the weight of my backpack. Here is everything I have packed in my backpack: 1 Spanish (very large) text book, my Spanish workbook,  this large subject notebook, my Living Enlightenment book (huge), yarn and knitting needles, purse with stuff, camera, extra clothing, and a few other things. Ok I'll write later!

A Random Entry

I have a lot to say and little time to say it so here is today's blog:

It was just a cute picture. Had to add it in!

1. Practice this week was not easy, in Band, the opposite in fact. It was harder then ever and yet, we seem to have diminished in talent rather then grown. Tonight's football game was a complete disaster, OK yes there was rain which distracted people but our band seriously needs to learn the art of perseverance. Thankfully we where saved by lightning and didn't have to preform, instead we sat inside the band room feeling like horrible people after a well deserved yelling by the director. When it was all over and done with we had a senior meeting. While I can't say what was said (leadership this leadership that etc. etc. etc.) The reason I wanted to write this is for the first time ever at that meeting I spoke up, had my opinion be heard and I actually felt like a senior. That was wonderful.

2. Went to Yellow Springs again today. The YS Highschool was off for the day so my closest childhood friends and I made plans to meet and spend the day at our elementry school, where the young kids did not have the day off. To many of you this may seem strange, but it is an age old practice at Antioch. The grads coming back. First it's just fun because all the little kids simply adore you because you are a grad, and therefore holy in their eyes, second who doesn't want a day off school and pretend they are ten again? Well we did. We made fun of it to, playing during "free time" and participating in singing time, although we where as off tune as three teenagers could get. No one cared though. it was Antioch.

3. Adding on to the previous point, this is something I have wanted to write about for a while, but haven't had time to. Friends, my whole life I wanted them, but my whole life I have been known as the bossy girl, I like to be in charge, end. of. story. This makes getting friends sort of difficult, and I was a person who always wanted a best friend someone to always be there. Now first I have no trouble making friends, that I am phenomenal at, my trouble comes at keeping them.  All throughout my years at Antioch despite being in a class of only 12 people my friendships waxed and waned. I never had the same friends for more then a few years, I hated that, but now years later and looking back those many friendships have solidified into stone. I know I could go to at least six of those 12 people for anything. Hanging out with them today feeling more comfortable with them then family Although then it seemed like nothing I now know I have amazing friends, and not just them. Basically what I am trying to say is after waiting many years, a little impatiently I suppose, things worked out and now I have an amazing group of friends located all over not just in YS, but truly all over, whom I love to death and I'm so grateful for that. 

4. My dad told me I had to write this in and so I am. In reference to something he said early he goes "Well I mean you read all those trashy books." and I say "what trashy books are you talking about?!" and he says "you know, they're all the same." to which I reply "They are not! It's always a different heroine, in a different magical kingdom!" So there we go. And FYI the current book I am reading has a male main character, so HA!

Superior

At first she didn't trust him nor like him. He was just 22 years old, barely a college graduate. The year progressed, at first slowly, each day of hot sweaty band camp feeling like a year. Yes he had changed traditions, made the group do breathing exercises, but something was happening to the Delaware Hayes Grand Pacer Marching band. Something that hadn't happened in a long time. They where becoming good. Really good. The year continued, and the girl had always tried to have excellent marching, which she mostly did, but had some issues, but had never liked music, memorizing and playing that is. Something shifted in her as well, she wanted to learn the music, be a part of all of the band, and she did, she memorized the music a feat she didn't know was possible. Three football games came and went, the third song was learned late in the season, yes the band was better now. They clearly sounded better, they where doing marching techniques they didn't know they could do, but they did them without question, and few complaints and things came together. Then the first contest came along. The girl personally thought it was way to soon. Scheduled in only the second week of competition, September 15, 2012. As the weeks went by leading up to it things came together, almost magically, it just ... happened. But it wasn't magic, it wasn't luck. Something had shifted, old Hayes could do this, they could go to a contest early in the season. No problem. Some where still doubtful, but on the given date they went. They went after the most relaxed pre-contest rehearsal in the world, plus a nap. After a two hour bus ride the band arrived in Cambridge Ohio, they got off the buses, and got ready slowly getting serious and into the mood. Pulling on a taping gloves, velcro-ing gauntlets, taking deep breaths. They practiced and warmed up, then followed the helpers on a long walk to the stadium. The girl spent the walk collecting her thoughts, she slowly breathed and enjoyed the scenery as the band crossed a wooden covered bride, and marched along a beautiful pond. She could do this contest and well if she wanted to, and she did. Things where different at this contest then they had ever been. As the band stood on the sidelines there wasn't any nervous excitement, maybe a little, but the overall theme was one of calm assurances.

      "be undeniable" Their director had said earlier, and they decided to be just that. They walked onto the field and did the show, on the part of the girl it was her best ever. On the part of the band they two had their best ever, because on September 15, 2012, the Delaware Hayes Grand Pacer Marching band received a Superior rating or a one, at their very first contest leading them on to the state finals. Although told to contain their personal feeling the band could barely do it they where shaking with joy and shock squeezing each others hands and grinning the biggest smiles a teenager could have. That is the end of my story. Obviously the girl is me. Thanks for reading! Check back in soon, there might be more.

Pooja phobia

It's almost like a phobia. Over the past two years my temple volunteering has started to center more and more on video and photographs and as I started just being on the sidelines of events capturing their precious moments, I started doing less and less temple activities. Then I started not wanting to do events. I held onto my cameras like a life float not wanting to do any activities. It's been like this for a while but I didn't realize till today. We had a bunch of people come and had two homas and a small abishekum. as usual I recorded the events, but when ever someone suggested I do anything like carry a kalaasha, hold a flower for the Pooja, and so fourth I would skurm my way out of it. Looking at myself it's like I don't want the gods to notice me. Which is ridiculous I realize, but that's it.

Jazz Running In The Rain

First off we weren't actually jazz running in the rain, the rain had stopped by then, but it did rain! Today was our first home game, not much to talk about there. The usual football game stuff happened; dancing, playing, and of course marching. Of more interest though is the past two weeks of my life. School oh wonderful school, actually its not as bad as that, but its just not any fun to be stuck in school so long each day and then finally when it's over, you hop along to band practice. Then things start to be drawn out. Although I love to read, I have never really enjoyed any of my English classes, but so far (after photography) my English is my favorite class. AP Gov. I can't decide whether I like or not. I thought it would be history, which is second nature to me, unfortunately it is much different, math is well math, and to top it off Chem is probably the worst class I have ever taken, but it is nice to be able to get out of the house and see friends for a change. That's pretty much my entire life right now, school, band, eat, sleep. On a side note because I don't want to write two blog entries, My birthday present geese are doing well. They are about twice the size that they where before, mmmm actually more then that. Gertrude is more bonded to me, and the clear leader of the two. She will come eat food or treats out of my hands without hesitation.  Gwenivere on the other hand loves only Gerdy, and is skiddish and shy. She is very food motivated though, and typically faster (when it comes to food.) They can honk now, although it's a cheap cheap honk hybrid thing, and yesterday they flew for the first time. It wasn't far just over their little baby pool, but still! Thats all for now!

First day of the last

So it's the first day of my senior year of high school (It's everyone else's second day) and I'm sitting here crying. Whoever said high school is the happiest time of your life either never went to high school, or they had a really horrible adulthood. Anyway I seriously don't know how I'm going to cope, I probably shouldn't be saying that as the name of this blog references a yogini, but when Swamiji said to write this blog 3 years ago (almost exactly!) he said to write my experiences, and so that I am doing! I really shouldn't complain, I should just look to the future, I'm graduating a whole year in advance! But when I sat down in my AP Government class this morning, all I was doing was calling my self an idiot, and that was just first period. My schedule isn't pure horror, there are a few little happies in there, my independent study video production class along with my video partner Elizabeth, and a photography class I am really looking forward to. A lot of the rest is just making me cringe in fear today (Chemistry, Pre- Calculus, AP Language and Composition,  and college level Spanish). Then to top it off band practice after school. Now band is something even I don't understand, I'm not really a fan of exercise, and I'm a horrible floutest since I hate to practice, and yet I keep doing marching band. It's not just the friends thing, although if I didn't have those then I would for sure quit, but there's something else holding me back, wanting to finish what I set out to do three, sorta four years ago. I have yet to see this band rise to complete greatness, get a one at states, and if this is the year, I want to be there when it happens.
      In any case my mother doesn't seem to understand, I get her perspective. I get in the car looking half dead and ready to commit murder after practice, but last year she wouldn't let me quit and this year she seems to be encouraging me! What I really need this year is just a solid force behind me, helping me push through, instead of feel as if I have this waving piece of cardboard. If I lean of it at all, then it will fall. It's just rough, who knows maybe this is my Monday, I have been away for a week with dear friends, and now have been thrown into the battle field, commonly known as high school. It's just sitting here my backpack on the floor next to my bed, first day of school homework spilling out of it I just don't know how I am going to do this. More updates on this life of mine soon,

Travel diary day four

Travel diary day four: so sad, it's my final day in San Jose. Although many parts of this trip I cannot say we're perfect today made it all worth it. Today was the large culmination of the conference with a parade and mela. The mela was basically like any festival except all Indian. There where booths, food, rides, music, it was pretty fun. Paz and I ran around spending all our money on Kurta tops and gifts for friends (they were priced well!) in the morning and then after the parade came back and handed out praasad or blessed food, and fliers for the temple. It was super hot out and we where both in half saris, which after wearing most of the day where sweaty and itched like nothing else, but it was fun because people kept telling us how nice we looked, and being modest is good, but sonars compliments! Anyway after feeding at least a hundred people sweets we walked around more, helped deconstruct the Pooja site from that morning and then went to the devotee's house that we stayed at at the beginning of the trip. Ok now that you know about the mela I have to turn back to the highlight, and hard point of the day. I have been in lots of parades. Honestly more then a can count and usually at the mention of the word parade I just want to crawl into a dark hole. But this one was so different. It consisted of all the missions, temples, and groups that participated in the conference. Each had their own float that they had worked on for the past two days. So in our section we had our gorgeous float, which turned out awesome, and then one group of dancers who had some choreographed things ready, a group of kids dressed as different gods, a huge poster for each Nithyananda temple across the US held by two people and then other devotees holding and waving flags. We had all our best Nithyananda dance music blasting out of speakers in the truck. Some very nice people kept giving us water and cocoanut juice. Overall it was just so fun and exactly like India. I was the main videographer for the event although at times I switched out to hold the Ohio Temple banner. I did take a lot of pictures though which I will upload soon. Now just hanging out. My flight leaves at 6:55 am tomorrow, so have to get up super early. So having a relaxing evening. Check back soon! For the sake of having a picture here is the beautiful courtyard of our hotel.