Down There

   

There are those times in life where when someone asks you how you are, and the only response is to scowl and roll your eyes and then change the subject to something utterly depressing. At least... thats me today. I'd love to say my thoughts were filled with rainbows and unicorns and positivity, but... nope. I'm 19 and having a hate the world day, in which every student that orders a pumpkin spice latte at the café gets a death glare, and my friends receive non-caring, mono-tone, text answers opposed to my normal novel lengthen replies.
    Oh yes there are reasons, there are excuses I could make, but what it boils down to is letting those wonderful emotions and hormones take over the delicate mind, and a semi-conscious decision to let them win. On a physical note... this life I'm living:
   Still not in school, but of course finding 1001 things to fill my time. In the mornings I head over to the barn, steaming coffee in hand to feed and ride my horse. This part of the day is usually filled with much joy and dancing a singing, the latter while on the horse mostly. This is followed by various sewing a knitting projects at home while watching obscene amounts of Netflix (we're on Gilmore Girls at the moment after recently finishing Mary Queen of Scots, and then all of Scrubs, and before all that Call the Midwife) usually attempting to clean a room that I previously got dirty, and then eating a rushed lunch and getting ready in less then five minutes for work. So then I go and get increasing annoyed at the entire human race with every latte and mocha I mix and brew, I actually really like that part I think its more the repetitive action-enclosed in a tiny space with one other person-on a forced time schedule thing that gets to me, and then I come home burning with stress and anxiety to roll around and cuddle with the dog that is currently mine, and watch more Netflix, and sew more historical garments that I don't really need, but most definitely want, before a late bedtime. So there you are, school does approach quickly though, January 4! Dorm assignments, picking out classes, schedules.... all happening in November, which happens to be two days away. Thankful with writing the anger and irritation has trickled away as it tends to do and I am left with a set purpose, a desire to do some productive! Maybe after just one more episode.... 

In The Light Of A Flickering Lantern

 

   I was tired, annoyed, completely done with it all, but I hundreds of miles from home, and there wasn't any turning around now. I pull into a parking spot, rain tapping on my car roof, and out of the darkness come bobbing lights, the rain stops as I pull on my boots, fumble for my belongs, untangle tired limbs from the car to greet the strangers, the future friends who have waited through this long night to greet me. With warm words and smiles, candles flickering brightly from the lanterns they hold the two young men, dressed head to toe in colonial attire greet me to the camp, to the year 1776. They help me gather the few baskets containing my belongs from that gold car which has become my closest companion and we set off along a muddy path. The bog they call it, the pair tease each other laughing, and getting to know me as we walk through rain soaked ground the block house in the fort and after climbing a ladder I am wished well for the night, given a lantern, and left to the comfort that one can have on a rainy autumn evening, settled in an 18th century fort, somewhere in some mountains in the south. 

    It's near Ewing, VA and the third historical reenactment I have been to in just a couple months. One every other weekend and the joy of my life, yes some stress and irritation too, but finally a love something that clicks and makes so much sense in my life. Something that seems to be the sum of all the little pieces of things I enjoy and hold most dear. Weeks of sewing, planning, packing, driving, interspersed with the dregs and joys of normal life. While the actual events are few on the grand scheme they have become such a focus and will to strive for life. Not that I was doing poorly before, but this sense of community, of a people of my own soul and mind is something special to have again. 

    There is one event left of the year and then what next I don't know, but is not an end of an era, but simply an addition to a wonderfully full life. A wonderful enrichment to everything, and I stand in insurmountable gratitude to those forces who contrive it all, for 1000 and 1 ways this discovery of my people has changed the course of my life.