Not Witty, Nor inspirational

A Bridge in the center of town, the closest thing to my fantasy of Venice.

So as the title suggests I am feeling neither witty nor inspirational today, I wish I was, but it's justnot happening today. Or this week rather, ever since my dear friend left for college early Monday morning I have been a glum ball of... well glumness. To be honest with you I'm either over reacting or truly sad, I don't tend to get this upset when individuals leave. The whole plan of stepping up the table, doing better in school? Gone down the drain. Instead I sit in class being bored and miserable,  and doodling thing in the margins of my notebook. And here's the worst part... the entire week was been ridiculously shortened. Didn't have school Monday (thank you national holiday) and then the last two days we had two hour delays thanks to cold. COLD! sorry, I'm not complaining, but seriously people, make up your mind about Global Warming.

    So I've been sitting around my house after rehearsal (which goes till six) watching music and halfheartedly working on projects. Enthusiasm gone. Here's the only thing I have to say for myself, I'll try to pull myself together this week, and is I need a week of misery, for sure next. Because due to my amazing wonderfulness of previous this to week I have A+ in all my classes, not to brag or anything... I even have a 102.4% in math! Me! in math! so miracles do happen. I suppose the week hasn't been all bad, like today I was given the job of doing the action pictures for the school play, which is a dream come true for me... I guess things are turning up, I just have to look at things that way. In the meantime it's 11:10, I promised my closest friend at school right now I would do my math homework, so I suppose I should pull that heavy black and green binder out of my backpack and get started. Till then friends!

Things are Changing

      To quote my favorite movie of all time "Everything's changing! Even I'm changing,  black coat's taking over my baby fur, its all happening too fast!" (That's Black Beauty everyone) OK so maybe I'm not a young black horse in the 1800s, but the message is the point. Growing up, things changing, babyhood being lost, and fast!
     Things to be both rushing along now, fast as lightning, and yet going every so slow at once. My senior friends are all getting their college acceptance letters, deciding where they will be spending the next four years of their life, graduation meetings, and grade cards, constant lectures and self-evaluation about the future. Then my sophomore friends, all learning to drive, struggling through their first AP class. Juniors seem to be in a pretty safe place, and more then once in the last few weeks I have sat back and thought to myself, "am I really doing the right thing?" At the end of this year, in just a wee bit over four months I will graduate and be set free into the world. Unlike the normal 17, 18 year old though I shall not be jumping into the college that gave me the most amount of money, that has the best program. Instead I will take a year off from the rat race and travel the world, or as much of it as I can afford. The only thing, which is in fact a big thing, keeping me from calling myself an idiot for these plans is that last weekend I attend a program with Swamiji, and he, through kalabhairava, told me that it was the best plan for me. So I am confident now, and just have to keep my wits (and guts) about me, and see how my future plans out. 
    For now I continue to watch the world, be part of it, as much as I possibly can. This weekend I watch one of my dearest friends leave again for college, it will be who knows how long till I see her again, and that loss is taking a toll on my system as much as I am trying to not let it. In the meantime I sit on my bed, well mattress really, placed on the floor; Maya, my fat black cat looking like a fluffy beached whale at my side, alternates between snores and purrs, and do what I can: Live.

Life update!

Dear readers,
I haven't written in ages! I'm getting so bad about this. Well a life update should explain it, two weeks ago school started again and even though I was very careful not to make a New Years resolution (is practically tradition to break them, soooo) I did make a strong decision to reapply myself to school. I've had been sort of slacking off a bit. Well first week went by, school got kind of rough (waking up five thirty am just isn't my cup of tea) but I did appreciate seeing people my age again after the long break. Also there was a shining light in my life again, the school play rehearsals began in earnest and so backstage became my home.
Over the first weekend home I took the new Life Bliss Program, a two day meditation program taught personally by Swamiji, but in a new format. I whined about going, but in the end I'm really glad I did. (Shhhh don't tell my mum!) so then week two started again, which brings us to the present. Thankfully i at least have broken through the wall, and play rehearsal went with put falling asleep once! Went home and sorta studied. Ok so I'm halfway through the wall, and now falling asleep. Something well deserved and needed.

Giving

I need to write a blog entry. I don't know what about, but something.

A picture I took today and wanted to share.

Alright, boring perhaps, but I want to discuss this in writing. So last week shortly after Christmas my mother, siblings, and I went on a shopping excursion. The kind I assume "normal" people go on, although that is a complete sterotype. Having no job, I was pretty excited about the twenty dollars I had in my wallet from Christmas money. So of course we go to Barns & Nobel first, because what else could you possibly do, and because my sister and I were raised on literature, most of it fiction we immediately got sucked into the beautiful world of a large cooperate book store. So about an hour and a half later (and of course exhausted from our modern world experience) we head to the checkout. I pay for my items, happily using up everything I had (in my brand new wallet!) So we head home and all the way I happily gloat over the items I so carefully picked out.
     It wasn't until I was writing out invitations for a party I decided to host for my friends on the cards I had bought (one of the three items) that I realized everything I had bought was for other people. So despite the fact I don't consider myself a good friend a lot of the time, (If it isn't one of my three closest friends I hate listening to people) but I guess I have this side that loves giving to people. I bought two of my friends gifts just because I thought they would like them and the invitations only with the thoughts of added enjoyment for my friends receiving them. Who doesn't like receiving friendly mail? and it wasn't for any purpose either. Simply because I thought they would enjoy those things. So I was pretty proud of myself.