Today something happened at school that FORCED me to unclutch. Basically it involved my English class and a big end of the year project. I didn't agree with some of the ideas the group wanted to do, but was not at school the day before to suggest a different idea, so when I was able to talk to the group, it was already the day of filming. The group got mad at me for wanting to change the plan so late into the project, and with full reason, but I hadn't even thought of this until my mom and I where talking. Well they told the teacher, who asked me so everyone gets what they need will I consider leaving the group. I don't know what happened, maybe I was still recovering from the long previous day (school visits) but I was practically in tears! He asked me if I would think about it and come back to him.
The whole day I could not focus on my work, I kept weighing the options. Start the project all over myself or, do the project with the group and burn books (that was their idea.) In math period 4/5 I think my friend was practically ready to strangle me because all though out the notes I kept groaning "what should I do" then in science when I was glaring at everyone who talked to me (I am usually a pretty nice person) a boy who sits cross from me said "Just blow it off" talking a big exaggerated breath and moving his arms in a sweeping gesture. I looked at him quizically and he said "let go of it" And so I thought, "oh yeah unclutch!" and so I did.
I am not saying my problem got solved there, but from relaxing I think I made the right desision. Also when an older girl in band volunteered to help me, if I needed itn so I decided to do the project myself. I think I have been, OK I have been, really uptight about everything lately and this was Swamiji's way of just saying "unclutch!" Hope your all doing well!
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