So I'll be writing two entries tonight, one about life right now, and the other continuing my India story. Life: wow... I'm sitting here my body aching and tears filling up in my eyes I'd like to be me Ma Ananda Asha, Blissful Hope, but I'm having a hard time conjuring that up.
It's come to that point in the year, most years it's physical everyone gets sick for weeks, no one can get better cause we are all sick, magically we skipped the worst of that this year, instead we are going through something worse. We are all mentally sick. Maybe not all, but a large majority of us, depressed, irritated nearly all the time. Practices feel like they are getting more intense by the day, but as they do I just feel like spices getting ground by a mortar and pestle. I don't even know how to describe it, it's just like, from my point of view, the group energy is down, and I don't know if you ever have, but it's really hard to be with a bunch of depressed people. And people wise themselves, from a completely personal view, I'm just so annoyed with people, it's not their fault, they just happen to cross my path, I see it happen. I don't feel like I have the energy to be nice to people anymore, and with that I feel like I am down to very few friends in band, maybe that's just me being all depressed. Who knows, in any case, I'll stop writing now and go on to something positive.
It's come to that point in the year, most years it's physical everyone gets sick for weeks, no one can get better cause we are all sick, magically we skipped the worst of that this year, instead we are going through something worse. We are all mentally sick. Maybe not all, but a large majority of us, depressed, irritated nearly all the time. Practices feel like they are getting more intense by the day, but as they do I just feel like spices getting ground by a mortar and pestle. I don't even know how to describe it, it's just like, from my point of view, the group energy is down, and I don't know if you ever have, but it's really hard to be with a bunch of depressed people. And people wise themselves, from a completely personal view, I'm just so annoyed with people, it's not their fault, they just happen to cross my path, I see it happen. I don't feel like I have the energy to be nice to people anymore, and with that I feel like I am down to very few friends in band, maybe that's just me being all depressed. Who knows, in any case, I'll stop writing now and go on to something positive.
That's totally normal ,YOgini. It happens to everyone and usually in stages. The next time you are sad just remember that you are not alone--in no way at all are you special or unique, you are just like everyone else.
ReplyDeleteHaha, I hope you realized the sarcasmnistic tone that went along with that all. More seriously, you are you're own self. You have your own eyes to see with and it is your choice if you simply see through them observing the truly depressed world, if you ignore the grim truth of life, or if you realize, act, change, and help others to do the same. I wish you allow your eyes to be the third option of course, but hope is the only thing I can give. As an individual you decide and do. May peace be your way.