The final rehearsal

Have you ever been at a sleepover and there's that point you get sleepy, but you push past it. And then your in this sleep deprived state were you might be really hyper, or at least your wide awake, but your still not totally functional?
That's sort of what I've felt like all day. Mostly starting around noon, I have just enough energy to keep walking going through the movements, but not enough to use my brain at the same time. By 5:00 today I was not my nor al self. Normally I hate being alone, positively despise it, by by that time today all I wanted was a dark quiet corner. By the time reversal ended for the day I felt not exhausted exactly more like a ballon, mentally about to pop at the slightest touch. When my ride looked ready to go I threw my things together and practically ran out the door.
When I got home my mind was on one thing. Bake some cookies. Although to the non-baker this may seem like torture the methodical pouring and mixing calms me down. Instead though I got the task of getting to sort through some new clothes (not that I don't appreciate it) but I just could get my brain to wrap around anything but my earlier programmed thoughts. Bake. PJs. Bed. But no I got to decide which pair of pants felt better, do I need another black cami? Then mum wanted help with some technical thing which is tedious on an everyday basis but uncomprehending today. I tried to sort through the problem. Spitting out some answer. By this point I was practically in tears this was not part of my plan my fragile state couldn't handle it! And to top the cake I had forgotten my precious laptop back in the theater which is locked during the day! Good cause it won't be stolen. Bad cause I can't get it. Even now writing this a small part of my brain repeats idiot over and over.
And a word on this why is it that when your so mad at your self for doing something, parents love to take this opportunity to chide you for it!? ok no complaining.
I suppose if I had been Unclutching it wouldn't have been so bad, but I havnt been doing a good job of that.
In any case today was the last official reversal. A bitter sweet day. I finally get to have a non-school life again. And yet I don't get to have a non-school life I have to come home and do things, fill my time, although I get to see them in the hallways the relationships with all my new friends won't be quite the same outside the musical hallway. But for now I need sleep so good night!