In my Own Little World

The one nice aspect about the rain 

     Today is one of the miserable irish days. A light, but steady drizzle pattering down continuously, a constant damp chill to the air, grey skies so dense the very air seems to be smothered in gloom, and of course I just had to get the chore of walking the dogs. I snuggled into my blue raincoat tightening the hood around my face, pulled up my equally cheerful blue flowered wellies and headed out. The first half of the walk was consumed with keeping the six dogs in check, but on the way back they had tired enough for me to sink into reverie. I had two of the six on leads, and the gently tugged me forward along the grass covered path, the rain pitter-pattered on my hood making it feel as if I was in a miniature tent, made just for me. The birds were all but silent, the song's quieted by the gloom. I had the feeling as I walked that I was in my own world, I was in my own world. The other dogs ran around, the water rushed beside me in the grand canal, the trees swayed in the wind, and the rain fell, but there I was walking along calm with my own thoughts and emotions. It made me start to think about my perception of my current life, of course I think about it a lot, but the physical actions of what I was doing walking through all this outside world, yet completely staying with myself, contained within myself really just emphasized something I have been weighing in my mind and trying to put into practice.
      I am who I am, I can work on different aspects of myself that need to be helped, but I don't need to be apologetic or sorry for what I am. Being in Ireland I am constantly being brought aware to things that are starkly different, I have a tendency to shrink back and be apologetic for them. The vegetarianism thing I've been discussing one of them, but everything, from my habits to the manner of my dress. When staying with different cultures everything is brought into the spotlight and I have had to work hard to not take it personally that I do some things different. Thinking about this I don't know if I'm making any sense, I hope I am. In essence, you are who you are. Instead of trying to do what others do and inevitably looking like an idiot, simply stand tall and strong and be yourself, unless of course you do actually need to change something. For me its a work in progress, but I'm working on it, and hopefully I'll get there soon. In the meantime, I'm sitting in bed crocheting a scarf (much harder then knitting for the record) and it's still raining out. Ta Ta for now!