Internal Conflict

Hey readers! How are you?

Keeping up with my promise I made some time back I am writing an entry that took me a couple days to get up the courage to write, but I have decided to spiel it. OK so here it is. I have been getting a lot more into outside activities, mainly the horse barn, but besides that 4H meetings, I am trying to write a novel about centaurs (don't judge me there it's actually really good) and I don't know all this stuff. So Then there is the temple, I have my set days that I still go to and all that. I keep up with my required work there, but because of this whole morning message thing, and now the Brahma Sutras to volunteers are being asked to come a lot more, which is something I am kinda not prepared to do. See I love Swamiji and Anandaswara with something beyond love if that can make any sense at all, but I am just really not into this whole vedic culture thing right now. OK let me rephrase that, I love the concept of Vedic Culture, but I am not so thrilled about eating Indian food all the time, and wearing white cotton clothes, doing hours of meditation and yoga all day ... in an Ashram civilization it works, but maybe it's just that I am a teenager or what but it just doesn't appeal to me right now. OK I definitely don't want to wear low cut shirts and blah, I don't like those styles. Of course as my family's lives are centered around the temple this creates a bit of conflict for me as I am sure you can imagine. So far I have not found a solution, but that is what's going inside my little brain right now, and I just wanted to share it with you!
That's a picture I took at the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium last summer. It is a Polar bear during feeding time if you cannot tell.